Rise for People’s Anthem of Houston Texans:
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Comrades! We should rejoice in knowledge that our high powered offense, helmed by Hero of Texans Offense and newly-appointed Chief Marshal of Field and Artillery Forces Deshaun Watson, can stand against all foes! It will not be long until our glorious Texans take place among great offenses of world, eclipsing even overrated and so-called “Greatest Show on Turf.”
Is not beyond knowledge of Ministry of Information, for nothing is truly beyond knowledge of Ministry of Information, that there is deep sense of foreboding and sadness within hearts of football-loving fans and players of Houston Texans. As you all know, other teams of National Football League, who are always jealous of our unparalleled success, took it upon themselves to sabotage supreme strength of our glorious Texans.

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