GREETINGS, EARTH CITIZENS.
WE ARE AWARE THE EARTH HAS REACHED THE POINT OF ITS REVOLUTION COINCIDING WITH WHAT WE UNDERSTAND IS KNOWN TO YOUR KIND AS THE SEASON – OR, IN YOUR COLLOQUIAL VERNACULAR, THE MARCH – OF MADNESS. THIS HAS ALWAYS BEEN A CURIOUS DESIGNATION TO US, AS WE HAVE NOTED MADNESS IS A DEFINING TRAIT OF YOUR KIND.
NONETHELESS, THIS PRESENTS US AND YOU WITH YET ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY. 68 GROUPS HAVE BEEN SELECTED TO CHALLENGE FOR SUPREMACY, A REGULAR EVENT WHICH ALWAYS PROVES TO BE QUITE…. UNPREDICTABLE.
TO YOU, ANYWAY. AND THOUGH THE RESULTS ARE AS CLEAR TO US AS THE SURFACE OF PROXIMA CENTAURI B, YOUR KIND’S ENDLESS PURSUIT OF “THE PERFECT BRACKET” BRINGS US NO SHORTNESS OF AMUSEMENT. TO THAT END, WE PRESENT TO YOU THE ILLUMINATI BRACKET CHALLENGE. PERFORM WELL AND YOU MAY JUST FIND YOURSELF IN OUR FAVOR. PERFORM POORLY…..

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